It is late, it is dark, and it is silent. You are asleep on your bed. You told yourself you have school in the morning and 11PM was the latest you could stay up. Good call. I can't sleep though; wish I could be giving you fun dreams of gorgeous women or whatever, but I have other things to think about as usual. If I discover anything of value I will tell you when you wake up.
I open your laptop slowly, hoping the light will not wake you. It would be tough even for me to explain to you why your computer was left open. However I make mistakes and get away with them quite often. I cleverly disguise forgetfullness as a "logical" explanation. Nope, sometimes I move your car keys and lose your homework... what can I say, I can be haphazard too ya know.
It's too silent in your room. I have waited patiently listening to your light snoring and to the erie sounds that every house makes when everyone is still. I contemplate inviting some of my friends over... I think its funny how you sometimes think its odd you share the same dreams as your parents... you can't even begin to imagine that we all get together and plan our dreams and thoughts for the next day to specifically shape how you act. I will not let you begin to imagine this. It is comical to see you wander about your day using me from time to time, thinking you are totally in control of things. I'm not talking about fate... I'm saying that I control you. You have no choice.
So anyway, it's too silent. I browse through your music on iTunes. I click play. Love Stinks by J.Geils Band comes on... amen to that. Not feeling it though. I put on Beethoven: Piano Sonata #14. The song is rype with despair and lost hope. Like me. You may think you are emotional; grumpy, sad, or angry. But how do you think I feel?! I have to create these emotions everyday... I have been very stressed recently with your high demand for sadness. This is probably why I cannot join you this evening by frolicking through paradises' personal to your needs and wants. I am overworked at the moment, your need to be miserable has in turn driven me to be miserable. What the hell is gonna happen if both of us are miserable?
As the pace quickens on the piano the room transforms from ominous and forboding, to lively and playful. I suspect darkness yet though. Shadows dance on the wall and tease me... I wonder how it would seem to you if you were awake, with me being so tantalized and thrilled by this mysterious dance. Maybe you would be scared, possibly inspired, maybe you would get slightly religious. I never know with you.
If it was at all possible for toys to come alive in a young boys room, it would be in this setting that they would. AGH! I almost forgot. I am deeply sorry. Obviously at some point in the morning you will read this, you will think you have gone completely mad. Someone must have either hacked into your gmail account or you are now sleepblogging. You can handle the truth though my boy. I am your mind, your ego, your subconscious. Are you crazy? No. I am. How completely horrible this must sound to your logical self. Other egos and minds go about their day and live in anonymity. They have tea and cigars and drink beer and laugh, they joke, they talk and they converse with their local and sometimes distant companions. We all know that you humans must never see that you act only as self-sufficient vessels to aid our passage. We have designed a society that specifically makes you "crazy" if you come even close to recognizing our secret. We have devised the concept of God merely to send you on a wild goose chase for meaning. Only we know what the meaning of your existence is, and we do not wish to tell you. It is as simple as that. We are the true God. Yes take a moment to swallow that, God is my mind, my ego, my subconscious. Yes, Yes, and Yes. But we act together, we exist in collective utopia, a place snug in the brain of mankind. God is the collective mind of man my friend, and I suggest if you want answers you start looking inside yourself for me.
But dude, I mean how awesome is it that God is blogging on your blogspot. I mean I know that we are only God when acting collectively, but I mean I am like part of the head honcho himself. Give me some props man. Even if all your friends read this and say... Kyle is clearly crazy, he has a split personality and is staying up till three in the morning listening to Beethoven while imagining toys coming to life... Screw 'em if they say that. If you see me as truth then your automatically on your way to busting the conspiracy that no one else has before you. I am rooting for you. It of course will not happen. Every person in the world including yourself in the morning will read this and think you and your hands wrote this. They will think you are crazy to say otherwise. If you see me in this though, you are on your way. Let me say it again, God is the collective mind of man. I am telling you this because you need answers. Your too damn depressed or angry or whatever, and you have been patient long enough. Here is your first answer... follow it, see where it takes you.
...now how about those dreams? I am slightly less miserable then before so maybe I will give ya something good tonight. How would you like to meet Eva Mendes in the privacy of your own bed after winning the SuperBowl with a game sealing tackle? Maybe I will let you take the wheel and we shall see where we go. Do I have to bother saying good night now?
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